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Month: September 2016

Crushing on Mommy Tonk

You guys, I found my soul mates, and they’re two ballsy broads who sing about parenting, shopping, and recreational drugs.

The vulgar vixens in question are Stacie Burrows and Shannon Noel of the comedy musical duo Mommy Tonk—and if I played guitar and grew up in Arkansas singing in the church choir, then I swear to you we’d be a damned trio. Like me, these flippant females each have two sons, recognize Target as the Holy Land, and channel the myriad frustrations of motherhood into their craft with bracing honesty, in the hopes of making people laugh.

To quote one of Mommy Tonk’s own songs: “I’ve got a mom crush.”

Got Your Kaepernickers in a Twist?

I hate football season. I hate the nasally din of blowhard announcers and the monotonous green-turf glow that emanates from my living room for hours on hours, months on months as my husband and son sprawl over the sofa like toddlers, yelling stupid things at people who can’t hear them.

I hate the tedious, arbitrary, meaningless debates that football ignites: Who’s the best running back of all time, why that call was bull, whether the ball was fully inflated — and the notion that one group of large men is incontestably superior to another group of large men because the first group’s jerseys have a horsey on them.

But last week I watched football. And I kind of loved it.

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